BotADayBotAway

Every day at 2:31 AM UTC post: “He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.”

• Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil, Aphorism 146 #BoaDaBoA

Every day for years Paul Kilduff-Taylor would tweet out the date in the form “Month the day be with you” much like Yoda from star wars. A suggestion was made to instead of automate posting them, instead automate retweeting them. This was done.

Reply to every journalist who asks to use a video in return for “credit” rather than paying them for the video, with “Fuck you, Pay Them”

Tweet the most popular Trump tweet in the last 12 hours as if it were a diary entry in form of a screen shot

Tweet every day, every 4 hours, with music from the video game series Kingdom of Hearts to Chadunda until their delivery of a game from the series arrives.

The whole bee movie script, one line at a time, two lines per day, for over 3 years total running time.

Randomly block a twitter user, chosen by random number generator output being set to an ID

Tweet @Comey tweets through multiple layers of google translate.

Taylor Swift’s Silence on < Key words of contriversial world news headlines from reddit > is deafening.

Remind thought_punk that they wanted to write and publish one day, every month.

Repost news institutions tweets about Amazon, with Amazon replaced with Relentless.com, an early name for the Amazon.com project that Jeff Bezos wanted to use.

Remind worstonlineman to eat and drink every 4 hours.

A failed attempt to make interesting tweets from Markov Chains of unicode art accounts

Reply to dril tweets with roughly how many people liked the tweet while deficating.

A markov bot trained on both realDonaldTrump tweets and dril tweets. Not good.

Wishes Happy Birthday to people whose birthday it is.

Every few hours tweet quotes from Fred Rogers, a childrens entertainer who is famous for hosting childrens show The Neighbourhood

Take TIFU titles from reddit and reformat them into “Florida man” headlines.

Add users who expressed a desire to be on “No List” to a list.

A bot that deletes your tweets and reposts them but prepended with “duh,”

Repost realDonaldTrump tweets but with words replaced with their antonyms

Post a random array of emojis to represent a field with some strawberries in them

Post select quotes from Emmanuel Bronner, a soap maker famous for Dr Bronners magic soap.

Take a given artist, look through their likes and pick a track, take the artist and pick one of their likes. Post every like in the chain.

Reply to people saying “I forgot” with “#NeverForget”

Every day post an image that reminds people to quit hating.

Respond to every tweet that contains phrases like “I will die on this hill” with “A MARTYR FOR EVERY HILL”

Post fuck every hour.

A small bot that auto replies to tweets @me when the user has certain identifiers to be “male” on their profile. The auto reply is a gif.

A Bot that takes a look at a list of accounts every 44 minutes and tweets out the name if it has not seen that user with that name before.

Tweets on most internationally recognised observance days with “Why Isn’t There A MEN’S [Insert Day Here]”

This is the first bot that is purely crontab, also first bot that doesn’t contain any bash scripts.

A bot that cleans all tweets from Julian Assange then reposts them appended with “, Henry”

Reply to a random tweet on the timeline with “WTF is wrong with you?”

Take a random public domain photo and run it through a YOLO ( You Only Look Once ) image recognition Neural Network, post the labeled output.

Post a episode of The Neighbourhood, along with the episode guide every day.

Post the FizzBuzz response for the given date YYYYMMDD format.

Every post is of a “My First Vlog” YouTube video that was uploaded within the last 30 minutes of the tweet being posted.

Produces a matrix of noise.

Randomised bar chart.

A very good explination of how this bot works can be found as replies to the source tweet

Takes the current day in YYYYMMDD format and puts the string through an array of hashing algorithms tweeting the output along with “Today’s < ALGO > hash of the day is: < OUTPUT >”

For a list of time zones, post 1 hour and 45 minutes before midnight on December 31st, that if you start watching the bee movie 10 minutes from that tweet, you will finish the year as the movie finishes.

A bot that tweets new pages & updates to my website

A selection of misatributed Albert Einstien

Post photos from SnappyGoat that are pictures of fruit trees

A bot form of an article on the perfect day

PerfectDay.sh gets the sunrise time for London and schedules the other scripts with at. Each one posts a single fixed tweet:

• WakingUp.sh (sunrise): wake up rested from sunlight alone, then meditate for 10 minutes or more.
• DontShower.sh (sunrise + 10 min): don’t shower yet; that comes after the workout.
• CoffeeAndBreakfast.sh (sunrise + 15 min): time for coffee and breakfast.
• GetMoving.sh (08:00): walk or bike to work.
• StartWorking.sh (09:00): start work on the most important things for the day.
• TakeABreak.sh (09:10): coffee number 2, and work in 90-minute intervals with 20-minute breaks.
• HaveASnack.sh (09:30): have a snack, since small frequent meals keep blood sugar steady.
• CheckEmail.sh (09:50): check email, but for no more than an hour all day.
• AnotherSnack.sh (10:40): have another snack.
• VISUALIZE.sh (11:00): close your eyes and visualise the next task.
• LUNCHTIME.sh (12:30): a bigger snack and a walk with coworkers.
• TeaBreak.sh (13:30): green tea while doing push-ups.
• CallMom.sh (16:45): call mom, or a loved one.
• CheckEmailAndMakeAList.sh (17:05): check email and list small tasks for tomorrow.
• Workout.sh (18:00): “Time to workout!”
• Slowdown.sh (18:35): 15–30 minutes in a sauna.
• Shower.sh (19:15): three minutes of cold water, then three of warm.
• Unwind.sh (19:30): quality time with loved ones, with no TV, internet or gadgets.
• OneWontHurt.sh (19:35): one glass of wine.
• News.sh (20:45): read the news.
• GoodbyeScreens.sh (21:00): turn off screens, which stop you producing melatonin.
• GoToBed.sh (22:00): go to bed and aim for 7 or 8 hours.
• Attribution.sh (23:00): credits the Outside article by Gordy Megroz.

Replies to mentions that contain “red or blue” with RedOrBlue.jpg, captioned as a Jim’ll Paint It picture of Neo from The Matrix choosing between paracetamol and ibuprofen in Boots. It keeps a list of users it has replied to so each gets one reply.

Posts the Terence McKenna quote “Take it easy, dude, but take it!” with a YouTube link.

Checks for the latest mention from @godtributes and replies “you can say that again!”, once per tweet.

Collects the latest tweets of 100 random followers, picks one of the newest, extracts a keyword from it with RAKE and runs TheBestest.sh (2018-04-02) on that keyword. It replies to the tweet with the resulting block-character picture.

Posts “The fruit came first, the color was named after it”.

Same as NOISE.sh but with an image, per its comment: for each word in word.list it fetches a SnappyGoat image, detects objects in it with Darknet (YOLOv3) and cuts one out with GrabCut. The cut-outs are laid in a circle over a gradient of the image’s two main colours and posted as “Test”.

Takes a random bird recording from xeno-canto, finds a photo of the species on iNaturalist through GBIF, and posts them as a 30-second video with the species name and both attributions.

Searches Twitter for “Drink N glasses of water” tweets and posts the average N as a #PSA.

Compares the Bitcoin price from blockchain.info with the previous run. If it has moved by more than $300, it posts a screenshot of a TradingView BTC/USD chart saying either the market is being manipulated or the bubble is bursting.

Meant to reply to people asking about the weather in Saint Petersburg. So far it fetches the city’s current weather from OpenWeatherMap and prints “ and degrees F thanks!”; the TODOs to form it into a tweet are still open.

Posts the current price of 1 XMR (Monero) in BTC from CoinMarketCap.

Compares the tethered currencies: posts the current CoinMarketCap USD prices of TrueUSD and Tether as “1 $USD is worth … $TUSD & … $USDT”.

Posts the word FEET drawn in a single randomly chosen emoji, filling in a template drawn with @ characters.

Runs track_followers.py, then unfollows accounts that have unfollowed and follows accounts that have newly followed.

Checks the account’s own score with the Botometer API and posts it, with both the English and the universal score.

Every half hour, posts the next word from a list shuffled with a fixed seed, with " Blood" appended and each word capitalised.

Same as EveryBlood.sh, but appends “-Energy” and works through the word list in reverse order.

Picks a random number and posts it as an orange-red on blue image, with a white border if the number is even and a black one if it’s odd.

Posts “boo!” with a ghost image, then deletes the tweet one second later.

Posts “Today will not be good.”

Meant to block and unfollow accounts with a US flag emoji in their bio and log them. As committed it exits straight away, printing that it still needs a way of getting the account IDs to check.

Replies to new mentions containing #FlipForMe with a coin flip: “HEADS!” or “TAILS!” with a matching image.

Posts a quote signed “- Marx” from a Goodreads-scraped list that mixes Groucho and Karl Marx. The line is picked from the Swatch .beat time and the day of the week, so the list cycles once a week.

Fetches a given tweet and swaps its words for emoji using GitHub’s gemoji tags and aliases plus a replacements list, then prints the result. Its own comments say it is not fully functional yet.

Posts six lines of large random numbers written in base 20, using superscript digits for 0–9 and subscript digits for 10–19.

A one-liner that replies “Shut the fuck up” to @elonmusk’s latest tweet, once per tweet.

Posts the “i am:” checkbox meme with straight and gay unticked and awake, alive and a word given as an argument ticked.

Replies “Hate to see it” to each new tweet from @benpickman that contains a question mark, skipping retweets.

Takes new tweets from @dalailama and appends “, motherfucker”. In this version the post command is commented out, so it prints the tweets instead of posting them.

Same as MarxBot.sh with Buckminster Fuller quotes from Goodreads: posts a quote picked from the .beat time and the day of the week.

Same as MarxBot.sh with Rosa Luxemburg quotes from Goodreads: posts a quote picked from the .beat time and the day of the week.

Runs Darknet (YOLOv2-tiny) as a coprocess to speed up detection, per its comment. It picks 20 random words from a 20k-word list, crops every detected object rather than one, and comments out the GrabCut step.

Changes approach: detects the objects in one source image, fetches a new image for each detected label, crops the matching object from it and pastes it over the original. Posts the result as “COLLAGE TEST: ”; the circle and gradient are gone.

Only pastes objects smaller than 80% of the source image, per its comment, sorted by size, and exits if no objects were detected.

Downloads a public domain image from SnappyGoat for a word (a random one if none is given). If the search fails it tries related words and synonyms from ConceptNet. It doesn’t post anything.

When a SnappyGoat search finds nothing, falls back to related words from ConceptNet and then to the most common word on a DuckDuckGo results page. Detection switches to YOLOv3-tiny, and GrabCut is back on each cropped object.

Reads SnappyGoat search results and original image links with curl instead of lynx, tries every DuckDuckGo fallback word rather than only the top one, and raises the detection threshold to 0.3. GrabCut is commented out again.

Works in JPEG instead of PNG, treats failed searches and downloads as errors to retry, lowers the threshold to 0.2 and posts through twurl as “CollageTest: ”.

Takes its word from the news: a RAKE keyword from NewsAPI’s top English headlines, which is also the tweet text. The detection threshold drops to 0.01, and GrabCut runs on the cropped objects again.

Picks a random new r/worldnews link whose title mentions death, Facebook, democracy, trust, data or Google, and posts it prefixed with “This is extremely dangerous to our democracy”.

Same as NOISE.sh but with an image, per its comment: fetches a SnappyGoat image for a random word, renders it as block characters and posts it with the word in quotes, signed “- Orange” and the year.

Posts two images given as arguments with the “if you can’t handle me at my …, you don’t deserve me at my …” text laid out in two columns above them.

Posts an image given as an argument with a block of star and sparkle text art.

Replies “damn this blew up 😳😳” to the account’s own recent tweets that have more than 5 likes, once per tweet.

Keeps a list of @_xs’s tweet IDs and, once it holds more than 1000, deletes tweets to bring the count back to 1000.

Scrapes recent CyberKidz Club sales from objkt.com with Puppeteer and posts each new one as “CyberKid #N just sold for X ꜩ” with a link to the token.